You are wise to seek the counsel of strangers on the Interweb. We alone have your best interests at heart and we know what is BEST for YOU -- kind of like the JW Elders, but in our case it it not simply a flight of self-serving fantasy. Be sure to follow ALL of the advice we offer, even if it seems absurd or contradictory.
Whatever you do, avoid the snare of "personal responsibility" and "independent thinking," which are simply mental tricks that Popeye uses to deceive the unwitting. Strive not to be unwitting! Be as witting as you can, using OUR wits, not your own!
By doing this with complete faithfulness, any blunders you make will be OURS, and we will lose mucho sleep-o over your plight-o.
Also avoid crazy people.